From Death to Life

Excited cries of delight filled the air as children scampered here and there, chasing the birthday boy who was turning four. The adults mingled, making introductions and catching up. My pastor’s wife asked me how my week had been. I avoided answering directly by sharing about a change in my husband‘s job. She looked at me with compassionate eyes, and I felt drawn in to share more personally. Talking about my health is usually the last thing I want to do. It has a way of ruining the mood, especially the joy of a birthday party. 

“Honestly, things have been very difficult lately. The latest test showed that I have Crohn’s disease. I have really been seeking God for direction to know which path to take in treatment, and have felt only frustration and confusion.” Straight away this beautiful saint led me to a quiet room, laid her hands on me and started praying for me. I have been prayed for hundreds of times over the years, and while I truly think every time “this may be the time God heals me,” I also struggle fighting off disappointment when it doesn’t happen. But it’s times like these that I feel the strength and the beauty in the body of Christ. I feel so weak and needy but am able to rest, soaking up the faith of my brothers and sisters in Christ.

The aroma of grilled burgers filled the air, drawing us into the kitchen. There was a large spread of food. I hung back, but somebody found me and handed me a plate. Oh, how I longed to fill that plate! I have been on a very limited diet for years, but with the Crohn’s diagnosis, I had recently started a new regimen to reduce inflammation by drinking pre-digested liquid in place of meals. I sat at the corner of the table choking down my “shake” as I watched food being consumed all around me. I had a moment of self-pity wash over me. How many parties have I sat at, watching others enjoy food and drink? I immediately recognized this self-defeating talk and familiar sin, and offered it up to God. 

As in response, this verse flashed before my mind, “Oh taste and see that the Lord is good” (Psalm 34:8). Immediately, the Spirit ignited my heart with desire to share God‘s goodness. I engaged in conversation with the lady sitting next to me, sharing with her different parts of my journey and the goodness of God through struggle and pain. I felt my heart revive and a smile returned my face. Within that moment, my whole being confirmed that God’s goodness is truly better than anything life has to offer.

I looked outside. The leaves were rapidly falling off the trees. They would soon be bare. The old leaves need to die before new life can come. How many times must we die in our sufferings so that God can bring new life? In my life it has been many, innumerable. Sometimes we go through seasons of suffering, that come and go like fall into winter. Other times we go through periods of suffering that continue on season after season, year after year. Whatever it is, it is costly, but it is worth it. It is worth it because God will make it worth it. Every one of his good and precious promises will be realized sooner or later. Sometimes we need to wait, but he will restore those trees back to vitality. He will bring new life to what once felt dead.