Living in the Middle

Crickets.

Yes, I have been quiet for a while. But I have a good reason (other than the fact that every bug and virus has passed through our household this winter). When spring finally made its appearance, I thought we were in the clear. But, most of us were down for the count again last week. Today is 86° and sunny; better days are ahead!

About four years ago, God impressed on my heart to start writing. After some weeks of hesitating and procrastinating, I started. Not because I felt inspired or had significant content, but mostly to be obedient. It’s hard to be vulnerable in the middle of the mess. When the pressure is still on, and it’s a struggle just to make it through the day. 

Since then I’ve had thoughts about the possibility of writing a book. But I’ve been waiting: for healing, for significant victory, for revelation. Until I had a good ending. Many days the struggle still overshadows victory. I’m still in the thick of it. But, I am a different person than I was when this battle started. I don’t always feel it, but it’s true. My body may be worn down, but my inner being has strengthened. The change has been slow and oftentimes painful. But it’s in the process. Yes, that word I have come to dread, and also grown to love. It can be long and tiresome; but, it is where we change.

The Middle

Beginnings and ends are exciting. The start of something can be invigorating. Who doesn’t like a fresh start? There is hope and anticipation. 

Endings brings conclusion. Finishing something is satisfying and rewarding. There’s a sense of accomplishment and relief. 

But the middle? There is so much ambiguity. So many unknowns and uncertainties. Will it ever end? What is next? Sometimes in the middle, all we can see is more middle. We’ve forgotten the beginning, and we can’t see the end. We get tunnel vision and lose all hope. The middle gets tiring. 

Wednesday is called hump day because once we get past it, we are halfway to the weekend. We can make it because we know the end of the week is coming soon. Having a clear beginning and ending can be so helpful, and manageable. 

But, many of the trials we endure in life do not have neat timetables or mileage markers. Time can drag on, and we lose hope that we will ever arrive. We are all in the middle one way or another. But we are not alone. God is the Alpha and Omega. But, he’s also God of the middle. He is with us every step of the way. 

We just need to recognize God’s presence and live by faith. Gaze at his beauty. Remember what he has done. Find rest in him. And act in faith.

Gaze. Take time to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord. Gaze means to “look steadily and intently, especially in admiration, surprise, or thought.” There is a reason David is called a man after God’s own heart. The Psalms he wrote are some of the most intimate conversations with God recorded in the Bible. What was the catalyst for the majority of these songs? Suffering, affliction, and hardship. David was constantly running and hiding for his life. But even in the face of impending death, he says, “One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.” (Psalm 27:4).

Remember. “I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old”(Psalm 77:11). We need to remember to remember who God is and what he has done. There is a reason why God kept telling the Israelites to remember what he had done. After rescuing them from slavery in Egypt, he tells them, again and again, to remember him and his deeds (Deuteronomy 5:15; 6:21; 15:15; 16:12; 24:22). We think, how could they forget ten miraculous plagues, fire and cloud manifestations of God’s presence, and the parting of the ocean? One aspect of any of those seems unforgettable. And yet, they forgot when life got hard. We, too, become overwhelmed with life and no longer remember God’s faithfulness and his work throughout the ages. 

Rest. “Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge” (Psalm 62:5). God values rest. When we rest in God, we show our dependence upon him, and he is honored. We live in a busy, distracted world. There is always something to do, never enough time. But God is worthy of our time. 

Act. “Faith without works is dead” (James 2:18). We can have all the faith in the world, but it means nothing if we don’t act on it. Sometimes that means doing hard things. We think about things too much and then never do them. We wait for the perfect time, sufficient energy, or a better opportunity. If God has put something on your heart, do it. For me that means putting in the time to get my book done and published. It feels daunting, but I’m doing it. 

So, friends, let’s do this together. Living in the middle is hard, but it is also exciting. The end is coming! Let’s take joy in the journey.