A Fire Within

“O LORD, you have deceived me, and I was deceived: you are stronger than I, and you have prevailed. I have become a laughingstock all the day; everyone mocks me” (Jeremiah 20:7). Sounds a bit irreverent, right? Well, maybe, but if you had been promised victory and deliverance, and had just been beaten and put in shackles, you may be saying something similar. God called Jeremiah when he was just a boy. Jeremiah didn’t ask for the formidable task that God had prepared for him, but he was assigned it none-the-less. God, did however promise Jeremiah deliverance and victory over his enemies (Jeremiah 1:8-10). But, after years of faithful work, Jeremiah was not experiencing the expected result. Instead, he found himself beaten and imprisoned. 

Almost three years ago, God called me to something I didn’t ask for. I was sleeping peacefully, when in the darkness the presence of God flooded my room and these words came before me, “Start writing.” I laid there trying to make sense of what this meant. Write what? I am not a writer. I don’t have anything good or exciting to write about. In fact, life was feeling pretty terrible. I had many good excuses. But, God did not agree. My life was not my own. Instead of withdrawing in self-pity, he wanted me to reveal his glory through my suffering. 

After two weeks of avoiding this assignment, I started writing. It wasn’t easy. At first, every word felt like a struggle. The difficulty and pain in my life seemed to outweigh anything good coming from it. And yet, the Spirit compelled me to continue writing. 

Back to Jeremiah. Jeremiah wasn’t called the weeping prophet for no reason. Giving messages of doom and destruction to an astray people had its consequences. I wonder how many times Jeremiah felt like giving up. But, just because Jeremiah wasn’t thrilled with his calling, didn’t let him off the hook. God wouldn’t let him stop. With a sigh, Jeremiah recognizes this, “If I say, ‘I will not mention him, or speak any more in his name,’ there is in my heart as it were a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I am weary with holding it in, and I cannot” (Jeremiah 20:9). He wanted to stop, but he couldn’t. God’s word would be delivered.

I am not comparing the scope or magnitude of my calling with that of Jeremiah’s. But, I do relate to the reluctance and uncertainty that Jeremiah felt. The last three years have not transpired as I thought they would. There has been a lot more opposition and difficulty than I would have imagined. When God calls us to do something, I think we often believe the way forward should be smooth and straightforward. God is in control after all and we are just trying to be obedient. But, this is rarely what we see in history. Jeremiah wasn’t the only one called to something that proved very challenging. There is Abraham, Moses, David, Hosea, Isaiah. Ok, so pretty much all the prophets and everyone in the new testament were called to difficult, if not impossible tasks, that weren’t exactly smooth sailing. 

I’ve been sitting on this post for a few weeks now. Waiting for what I do not know. But, yesterday spurred me on to get this out. The sermon was titled Chosen for a Divine Purpose. In our weakness or struggle, God’s purpose does not change. How easily we throw in the towel when opposition meets us! We all like to quote Romans 8:28 about God working all things for our good, but what about the part about it all being for his purpose. And then the following verse, which prepares us for the conformation that must take place in us to become like Jesus. This is not a painless path, but one that requires much perseverance and death to self. 

What has God called you to? What is he still calling you to? Don’t let opposition and difficulty throw you off course. You are not too far gone. It’s not too late. God is a merciful God. He knows that we are but dust and accounts for our weaknesses and doubts. No more excuses. Today is the day to go all in.