Hope Along the Journey — Episode 114

Transcript source: Whisper (large-v3, cleaned).

Have you ever been tempted to give up or check out in your walk with God? Have you been at a place in life’s journey where you felt overwhelmed and overshadowed by life’s obstacles, setbacks, or heartaches? It could be you’re at such a place right now, a place where you are hungering for hope. If so, then Hope Along the Journey podcast is a ministry of encouragement created specifically with you and others just like you in mind. And now, here is your host, Mark Cravens, to share a word of encouragement with you today. Thank you so much for joining us today for this episode of Hope Along the Journey. Hi, I’m Mark Cravens, your host, and it’s a joy, as always, to have you with us these next few minutes as we share a message of hope found in Jesus Christ. It’s great today to have with me, by way of Zoom, none other than Karis Meier. Karis, welcome to today’s episode of Hope Along the Journey. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Yeah, all the way there in Northern Virginia. You’re not far from the White House, are you? No, just about 20 minutes. But we’re counting on you to get everything straightened up out there, okay? We’re working on it. Okay, good, good. She lives, as I’ve already mentioned, there in Northern Virginia with her husband who’s in the military. and please be sure to say to him, thank you for his service to our country. We appreciate it so very much. She is also the mother of four children, which again, she needs some kind of a badge or purple heart or something for that. Karis has a BA in Christian education, a master’s degree in counseling. She is a blogger. She is a counselor, has done life coaching, and is the author of a truly great book that I want to push on this episode of Hope Along the Journey because it’s a great read. It’s entitled Suffering Redeemed, Finding Strength to Endure, Purpose in Pain, and Hope for Tomorrow. What a great book. And I already told you, Kara, I’ve been reading it, and it’s just a great book. So thank you for making this available for us. And we do want to talk to you a little bit about that in just a few moments. But before we do, I just want to say to all of you listening today, my friends, that we would love for you, if you haven’t already, go to the website and to register your email so that you can be on our newsletter. So that location is none other than http://www.hopealongthejourney.org. Again, just http://www.hopealongthejourney.org. And there will be a little pop-up window that will come up that will say, stay in touch. I would love for you to just fill that out so you can be on the newsletter that we send out every month or every two months to just kind of keep you in touch with what’s going on with the ministry. Also, would you take time this week to share this episode with a friend, especially to those of you that listen by way of podcast? Would you mind just taking a few moments and share it with somebody? Also, if you’re on a venue where you can leave a comment or a five-star rating, we’d love for you to do that as well. Now back to our guest today, Karis Meier. And Karis, again, welcome to this episode of Hope Along the Journey. You wrote this incredible book that I’ve already mentioned, Suffering Redeemed, Finding Strength to Endure, Purpose in Pain and Hope for Tomorrow. Tell us, tell my listeners, what brought about the writing of this incredible book in your life? Well, it certainly wasn’t something I had planned. I have never thought of myself as a writer and certainly not an author. So, um, yeah, my life didn’t go how I had planned it. And that’s not too much of a surprise, I guess. Um, but back almost about 18 years ago, um, I went to visit my sister who was a missionary in Pakistan at the time. And several months later, found out that I had picked up some parasites over there and it was a quite a long process of getting rid of them. And I thought, you know, I’ll get back to normal, feel healthy again. I mean, I was in my early twenties, so I’d been very athletic growing up. So it, you know, I was like very sick for a while, but I expected to get better. And the doctor said you should recover, but, um, I didn’t. And it just led from one medical problem to another. And I started having organ problems. And, um, I was also told during that time that I would never be able to be able to have children because of a couple of different issues going on with my endocrine system. Um, and obviously the doctors were wrong and God gave us four miracles, but it led to this journey that I was not prepared for. I was blessed to be raised in a Christian home. My parents are missionaries, so we traveled a lot and I had a very solid foundation of knowing Jesus and having the foundation of the truth. But, you know, when the, when the, the suffering hit, it was pretty hard and it, it didn’t let up. And, and for the first, I would say probably five, six years, I just kind of kept it to myself and didn’t want to be a burden to people. I just thought, oh, I can just endure and, you know, push through and be strong enough, um, be a good Christian, you know, quote unquote, by just trying to bear it myself. Yeah. Just suck it up and go on. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it worked for a time, but as things got worse. Um, after my second child, she was about six months old. I started having heart problems and, um, my, so my heart rate was like in the thirties. And so I was dangerously low. So I was admitted to the cardiac unit. And I remember laying in that bed and God just spoke so clearly to me from Psalm 73, where it says, you know, my heart and my flesh may fail me, that God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. And that’s the first time I remember God really, um, speaking to me specifically about his, you know, just his presence and his authority and, and just his keeping together, keeping me together when I felt like everything continued to get worse. You know, we had been praying from day one for healing and things didn’t, not only did they not improve, but things got worse and worse and worse. And so, um, so anyways, I made it through that. I was on, um, TPN, which is a intravenous feeding for several months to try to get my weight back up so that, you know, other, I could function in other ways. And about six years ago, I started having neuropathy, pretty severe neuropathy where to the point where I couldn’t walk. And it was during that time, which was very frightening. It was, it was a new level of fear that kind of I had to deal with head on, but it was during that time where God, I remember waking up one night and God was very clear. I mean, God spoken to me, not like audibly, but you know, in my heart. And I just woke up and I felt very clearly that he was telling me to start writing. And I didn’t, at the time I was, I was very despairing. I was, I was probably depressed. I was discouraged. And I thought, what am I going to write about? I have nothing to write about. I, you know, so I, I kind of put it off for a while. Um, but God just kept pressing on my heart. So a couple of weeks later, I just started writing. I started writing what God was speaking to me through the word, how I was processing all the questions I was going through, all the emotions, all the struggles, all the things that we’re told to do as Christians. And then the reality of life when it’s, when it’s really hard and harder than you think it could ever be. Um, and so then probably about a few months later, I started a Facebook group called suffering well, and had, you know, several, several people I knew that going through difficult things join and just kind of as a way to encourage. And, um, that’s kind of where I started writing kind of more public way. And then I started a blog and then at the beginning of the last year, um, I just, I felt the impression that I should start taking some of the things that I had written over the years and put it into a book. And that’s where suffering redeem was birthed. I guess you could say it just kind of putting that all together and filling in the in-betweens. And, um, so yeah, that was published in October, 2020 or 2022. Sorry. And I just last fall. That’s the story. Yeah. That’s incredible. So, you know, we talked beforehand before we started here and I was telling you how much I was enjoying the book. And one of the things we talked about was the fact that it, the book feels very personal because a lot of this book was written when you didn’t have any idea you were going to be writing a book and you weren’t really writing this for an audience were you no yeah it’s more about no it was very your personal reflections yeah it’s very uh you know i would say it was very therapeutic for me personally i’m i’m i process things through writing better than I do talking. So for me to be able to write it out, um, was very helpful. And I think that’s part of why God told me to start writing for my own benefit and, you know, just, just, and even looking back and remembering what he had said and what he had done. And even now, you know, when I look back and I’m like, wow, yeah, God did that. But it, it wasn’t something, you know, I mean, even my family, when the book came out, my parents and my sisters were like, we had no idea you were going through that. I mean, they were just shocked, you know, cause I didn’t, I’m more, I don’t share a lot of those things with people. I’m more of a, I guess I’m more of a private person. So, so for me it was, yeah, it was a huge risk to put it out there. Um, but that’s, that’s what I did. And, and I’m glad you did because the book again is, just so excellently written. And again, there is that personal touch that, and I told you this, it’s filled, the book is filled with emotion. You feel, as you read it, you can sense that the person writing this is feeling this as they write it. So thank you for having the courage and for minding God and doing what you did. One of the chapters in your book is called Peaceful Expectation. When I read that chapter, I came across one of those opening paragraphs where you said, peace is something we all long for, but often feel devoid of. Maybe we’re looking for it in the wrong places or trying to experience it as the world defines it. So talk to us about this peaceful expectation. What is it? What does it look like? Well, I can’t tell you that I have it all figured out, that’s for sure. But it’s definitely a journey that I have been growing on through the years. And I think, you know, especially in the Christian circle, in my experience, a lot of times when people would hear about my struggle, my health struggle, there would be, you know, different opinions about how I should handle it. You know, some people were like, well, you just have to surrender to God’s will. This is, you know, God is allowing this. God is sovereign. He is in control of everything. And so you just need to give it over to him and surrender. And, and I, and I, you know, I, I see that I see there’s so many scripture and I see, I believe God’s sovereignty, but then there’s, there’s also this, this other part, um, of, of faith and expectation that God can do anything. He’s the God of miracles. You know, he, he is so far beyond our understanding. And so don’t ever stop praying for something, You know, don’t ever keep praying, keep praying for healing every day, keep expecting that God’s going to, you know, have faith. You know, it’s obvious that God wants us to have faith. And that’s part of, you know, what we’re called to as believers. And so, so I, I often felt like I was just swinging back and forth, like, okay, I’m going to surrender and just say, okay, God, I, you know, I, I not, not like a give up, like throw in the towel, but kind of like, I can’t do anything. I can’t change. I’ve, I’m trying to do everything I can, but, but ultimately it’s up to you. And so I surrender my will, not my, not my will, but your will be done Lord. Um, at the same time, I felt, you know, there’ll be times where I would like faith would just rise up and I would just have so much faith. Like, okay, God, I believe that you’re going to heal me. I believe with all of my heart. And I could like, almost, I could see it. Like I would have pictures of myself being healed and see it. And, and it was so tangible. And then I think I would just kind of get discouraged and then kind of swing back. And so it was just, it seemed like I couldn’t do both at the same time. You know, I couldn’t have peace and just surrender and also be expectant because it was just, they almost seem opposite to each other. But I think, you know, as, as I grew in relationship with God in that, and just really wrestling with him and how I could live that out in a way that was pleasing to him. It, I think I grew. And one of the stories that I just love that shows this so well, and I share this in the book is the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, you know, where they’re going to be tossed into the fire if they don’t bow down. And they say, you know, we believe our God is able to deliver us that he will deliver us. but even if he doesn’t, right? So they recognize God’s ability. They have complete faith that he will, but then they also say, but if he doesn’t, you know, so that is how I think we should live, like with the humility to say, I don’t know the end result on this. So, you know, God is going to choose, but I have the complete faith that he is able, and I’m going to keep believing that he will because God’s a good God and he is our deliverer and he’s our savior and he’s our healer. Um, so that’s, yeah, I think that, that picture and that story really helped me, um, in a way to, to live, you know, just to live fully and, and every day, you know, wake up believing, okay, this, this could be a day that God does a miracle, but then also being surrendered. And I think part of that coming was growing into believing that God is my greatest good. Healing isn’t my greatest good. You know, answers to our prayers isn’t really what we need and what our souls are longing for. It’s the relationship with Jesus that is so much better. And sometimes it takes being, you know, losing some of those things that we think are keeping us together or are all satisfying to realize that, no, that’s really not what is the ultimate. Yes. That’s great. You know, I thank you for sharing that. And I love what you shared in the book as I read that chapter, as I mentioned. And, of course, your reference to Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego and that whole story. I think sometimes, too, and correct me if you think I’m wrong, but I think we look at surrender. When we think of the word surrender, I think in our vernacular, we think of giving up, like you surrender to the enemy or you surrender. but surrender is not giving up, but surrender is just giving over to God, that area of our life. And I think when we get that in our minds, don’t you think that’s a little more helpful instead of thinking of surrender as, well, if I surrender to God, I’m just giving up, but not really. You’re just giving it over to God. Yes, I agree. That’s a much better wording. What did people say to you that wasn’t helpful? Maybe they even say it now. Because I think I picked up in your book a phrase or two or a sentence or two, you know, because I think everybody wants to be helpful. But what are some unhelpful things that people have said to you in this journey? Oh, yeah, there’s been a lot. Although, you know, I’ll caveat by saying, I think it used to be a lot more hurtful when people said things. But now I understand, you know, people, like they really want to help, and they’re trying to, and they’re doing the best way they can most of the time, right? so you know i had a lot of people say well maybe there’s some you know secret sin or some area of your heart where you’re you haven’t surrendered you haven’t confessed which is legitimate right i know that that that is the case sometimes and i can’t tell you how many times i have like okay god it’s not very comforting though is it like just just yeah but so i’ve had that several times or the faith thing you know maybe you don’t have enough faith to be healed maybe you have a lack or a doubt a doubting spirit um and again there’s i think there’s validity there but when you’re in a prolonged suffering and i mean again like this is something that i have prayed for over and again like god increase my faith give me more faith like i know i’m lacking in faith but i you know so just um yeah there’s i think or just you know just kind of um throw over I mean, I know you mentioned earlier about Romans 8, 28, which is a wonderful verse, but sometimes people just throw that out, you know, without wanting to understand, you know, so if they’re like, oh, I’ve been sick for 18 years. well, you know, God works all things together for good. And they’re like, yeah, but, you know, so just sometimes just making those statements that they’re truth, there’s truth there, but really showing the compassion, the care to understand the person before you start making judgments or accusations or even throwing out scripture is just a lot more helpful when you’re in that suffering. Well, Karis, thanks for sharing that because as I gleaned through the book, I saw some of those, and I thought it would be helpful because sometimes I think people don’t know what to say, but they feel like the need to say something. And then I think there’s also that everybody wants to fix the situation. And so let’s come up with an answer that just fixes it. So, you know, maybe if you had more faith or maybe there’s some hidden sin, like you said, but God has his own reason. And I love what you said in your book, too. you made a statement that God doesn’t always repeat a miracle over. You know, just because He did it this way once, I mean, God doesn’t have to part a Red Sea every other day or every week or once a year. You know, He does things differently, doesn’t He? And for all of us, sometimes God works very different in our lives. I love what you said about the ultimate good being God Himself. and that you know when all things work together for good that really begins to clarify that passage for me too when you say because the ultimate good is to know god and for him to conform us into the image of his son to make us more like jesus so i think that helps us in defining that ultimate good don’t you yes yes and i think that second part of that verse yeah to make us like Jesus, that’s a, that’s a process of sanctification that is not easy. It’s not just a walk in the park, right? It’s usually through the fire and through the suffering that we become more like Jesus. So yeah, it’s. Let me ask you one more question. Um, so you’ve gone through how many years now as you kind of total up, has this suffering been going on in your life? It’s about 18. About 18 years. So you’ve almost dealt with it almost as long as you didn’t deal with it. So you’re getting close to that. But again, you’re only 22, so do the math, so I’ll have to figure that one out. Anyway, let’s back off that before I say the wrong thing there. So how does one not lose heart during the prolonged suffering? I mean, how have you not lost heart? What are ways in which when you go through these long periods of suffering, how do you not lose heart? Yeah, so I think of 2 Corinthians 4, 16 to 17, which says, Therefore we do not lose heart, though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that outweighs them all. And so I think that part of the key in that verse is being renewed day by day. And, you know, I don’t think it’s any magic, you know, it’s the disciplines of being a believer. You know, it’s the daily discipline of being before the Lord, of memorizing scripture, of being in the word, of prayer, of fellowship, of worship. Right. And, you know, it’s nothing that is rocket science. It’s for me, it’s something that I have had to I have had to dig deeper and cultivate greater times, more expanded times. And honestly, it’s out of desperation a lot. I wish I didn’t have to say that, but I feel like a lot of how I’ve become and grown in my relationship with God is because I feel so desperate for Him. I mean, I don’t go a day. I wake up well before the children so I can be in the Word, so I can have that quiet time and, you know, have time in prayer. And I mean, I work hard at memorizing scripture because many nights I’m up. I get woken up by different things, issues, mostly with my body. And then I can’t sleep. And it’s that the word that is stored up in my heart, honestly, that gets me through the night sometimes that I’m able to just repeat the word of God and the promises of God to myself. And so, or even like worship, you know, I love, I love hymns. I’m kind of old school in that way. I just, there’s so much theological richness in the hymns and it just, and they’re, and they’re full of people who have suffered. They’re full of the realities of the struggles of this life that we go through and the hope and the expectation of heaven and what we have to look forward to. And so oftentimes I will just, even if I don’t know the hymn, I will just read the hymns and just meditate on the words or sing the hymns. But so I think, you know, that being renewed day by day, we can’t just have five hours with God and then go for two weeks. You know, it’s like the manna, right? We need to be constantly being filled up. We can’t depend upon yesterday’s time. And God made us that way because he’s a jealous God. He wants, He wants us. He’s passionate for, for all of our affection and He knows how to get it, right? He knows how to get us to this place. And, and I think that is something that is so precious that we may miss because we’re so, for me, I know I missed it because I was so focused of getting out of my suffering that I missed what God was doing through it for many years. I, I was so desperate just to be done with the suffering, to be done with the pain. I wanted to feel good again. I want to do what I did before. And that’s not bad. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. I think God wants good for us. But again, going back to what He knows, He knows our hearts and He knows what we need and He knows how to get us there. That’s right. That’s right. Well, I really appreciate these last few moments, especially you’ve shared some important insight, Karis, that I think is, you know, this matter of looking at our pain and suffering through a biblical worldview, I think is so important. And no doubt, your early upbringing helped shape some of that biblical worldview and your own deepening in your walk with God, turning to the Scriptures, looking for them to see God’s perspective on suffering and God’s perspective on healing. and but even more than that of finding god himself in this because it’s you know it’s not just about going to his word it’s also finding the one to whom the to whom the word points us to is it not and to know god and to know him better so thank you for sharing all of that and i love what you said about the hymns any closing words of comfort advice wisdom or wit before we wrap things up so i think you know sometimes we try to figure god out right at least i do i’m like god what are you doing like how are you going to work this out and i think we kind of don’t like the idea of living with the unknowns of the mysteries of right of how of how our lives are turning out how sometimes things can seem so backwards and um when we pray one thing and we get the opposite it’s like god what um but i just you know i’ve been thinking about how we this is like our time on earth is our only time to really embrace the mystery of, of this, of living in faith and believing all of who God is and what, who he says he is and the truth and, and, and exercising our faith instead of trying to, you know, demystify it and figure it out and, you know, come up with our own idea of what, of, of how God is working. Right. And, and so just not to waste those moments and spend so much time trying to make things work in our own brains, which we probably never will anyways. That’s so true. And that’s great. That’s great advice. Well, just real quickly, tell people where they can find your book. So my website is karismeier.com. And on there you can find my book and also my blog. And then it’s also on Amazon, so both Kindle and Paperback. So those are the places. Great. And we will post a link to your website on the podcast as well. Well, thank you, ladies and gentlemen, for being with us today for this episode of Hope Along the Journey. We appreciate having Karis Meier here with us today. And as we close today’s episode, I just want to remind you one more time to look to Jesus Christ, for he is truly the hope of the world. And if you look to him, he will help you find hope along the journey. Thanks for listening to today’s podcast. If you would like to know more about Hope Along the Journey, or if you would like to make a donation to show your support and appreciation for this ministry, then visit our website at hopealongthejourney.org. You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Thanks again for listening. And we hope you’ll join us again for more Hope Along the Journey.