Let Fear Bounce Podcast — Season 3, Episode 48

Transcript source: Whisper (large-v3, cleaned).

Hello, hello, fearless listeners. Are you ready for another episode of Let Fear Bounce? It’s the podcast that’s all about conquering challenges and facing our fears. I’m your host, Kim Langling, and each week we’ll dive into inspiring stories, expert insights, and practical tips to help you turn your fear into your greatest ally. So sit back, relax, grab that cup of coffee, and let’s discover how to make fear our bouncing board towards a life filled with endless possibilities right here on Let Fear Bounce. Hello, hello, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of Let Fear Bounce. This is Kim Langling, your host, and I am so happy that you’ve decided to spend just a little bit of your day with myself and my special guest today, Karis Meier. Karis is an author. She’s coming to me today as an author, a counselor, and a speaker. She’s struggled with chronic illness for many years, and she’s passionate about sharing how God has led her through this journey she grew up as a missionary kid in a loving family and years later after she got married while visiting her sister overseas she contracted parasites and several months during that time while she was visiting her sisters overseas she contracted parasites and after lengthy treatment which she expected to recover from she did not and this began a cascade of health problems and conditions that she still lives with to this day. She is the author of Suffering Redeemed, Finding Strength to Endure, Purpose in Pain, and Hope for Tomorrow. I have been looking forward to this conversation because, you know, it’s a pretty darn interesting story. You don’t hear too many people that contract parasites overseas and just a lot of folks that don’t travel overseas and being a missionary, you know, so you’ve got all kinds of interesting stuff to talk about. Karis, welcome to Let Fear Bounce. Thank you. It’s great to be here. So first off, I want to start with your book. I love talking to authors. I just, cause I’m an author myself and I love finding out why it is, where your, where your, where your ideas come from and what was that big nudge, that nudge that made you say, you know, I’ve got to get this down. I’ve got to write this book. So your book, Suffering Redeemed, Finding Strength to endure purpose in pain and hope for tomorrow and by golly the world needs more hope these days i’m on a mission of hope myself so i love the title of your book where did that that big nudge now i know it’s probably through your illness and that that journey that you continue to travel but that strong nudge what was there a specific thing or specific happenstance that said you’ve got to get these words down. You’ve got to get this out into the world. Yeah, it is quite interesting because I never, I never would have written a book for the first place. And I didn’t consider myself a writer or an author, but it was about six years ago now. And I was at a very low point in a lot of different ways. I had just received a new diagnosis. I’d been in the hospital for a few weeks. My husband was, he’s in the military. So he was at a point in time where he was traveling a lot. I had three young kids at the time and I was feeling very overwhelmed, discouraged. I was even to the point of despair, like feeling some days, like I didn’t want to live. Like I didn’t know how I was going to make it through the day, but it was one night, it was like 2017 winter. I remember waking up. And I just really felt strongly like God was telling me to start writing. And it was a very clear impression in my mind. But at the time I, I was like, what, I don’t, I don’t have anything to write about. I am, you know, I just, I felt so depleted at the time. And so for a few weeks, I kind of just pushed that thought out of my mind and tried to ignore it, but it just kept persisting. And I think God just, um, continued to put that on my heart. And so I started writing mostly just processing my, cause at that point I had had chronic conditions because of these parasites for 12 years. And it was an ongoing, you know, in and out of the hospital and then out of procedures, um, on feeding tubes at times. Cause my body just couldn’t, um, maintain weight. And, um, it was hard. It was, it was something that I kept thinking, oh, I’m eventually going to get through this. But then I had this new, new diagnosis of Lyme disease. And I started having extreme neuropathy where I couldn’t feel my hands, my legs, my feet. I couldn’t walk for a time. um so it’s just really scary but so anyways I started just processing a lot of the struggle over the years a lot of questions I was having you know why is this all happening why you know I believe that God is good and that he has good purposes in our lives and I’ve always I’d always had a strong faith a strong relationship with the Lord but um going through something for that long and that hard just really challenged my faith. Um, so it was a, it was a lot of processing. And honestly, when I look back, I can, I can see how, what a blessing it was for me because I really was able to process a lot of what I was going through. And I’m, I’m more of a internal processor. Like I don’t, I don’t share a lot with people. I’m more, um, so writing was actually very helpful for me. And I didn’t know. I didn’t know. So at the time, but I just see that as another blessing that God gave me through that. And so I started a blog and then a Facebook group just revolved around suffering and different people who are struggling. And then the beginning of last year, I was just kind of praying about it. And again, felt like I should take all that I had written over those years and put it into a book. And so that’s what I did. And it’s, it’s a very raw, vulnerable book, because at the time, you know, I wasn’t expecting really to share what I was processing in with the world. And yet, I think that is what, you know, I’ve had many people share with me that that’s why it is so helpful, because it’s in a place of desperation and not, not like, oh, I’m through this. And look how great life is now. It’s like, no, it’s still hard. But there is hope and there is purpose. And there is strength that we can have day by day, no matter what type of suffering we walk through in this life. And that’s a little glimpse of the process. A little, a little peek into that. And what, wow, what a peek into that. and that had you okay there’s a few things that you mentioned first off uh your husband’s in the military so that adds a whole nother dimension to everything that you’re going through because being a military wife is a struggle at times itself let alone being chronically ill and having children raising children while your husband’s deployed so uh first off thank you to him for his service as a veteran myself i thank all veterans for their service and thank you for keeping the home fires burning even when you didn’t feel like doing it so thank you that’s it’s a lot that’s a lot in itself um and i understand that so thank you now back to everything that you go that you went through oh my goodness what a journey that you continue to travel and you’re traveling with a smile and your faith intact even though you did admit it wobbled a bit um and you had reached a point where you’re like you know why is this happening why do i continue to struggle i can’t make it through this day you spent weeks in hospitals going through all kinds of stuff my goodness a lot of people would have would have given up what was that one little thing that kept you from giving up even when you said i’m not sure i even want to live anymore because that’s a pretty dark moment to be in to have that thought i don’t know want, I don’t think I want to live anymore. That’s a really dark moment. I’ve been there. That’s just being honest. I live with PTSD. I’ve been there. And for me, when I hit that spot where I actually had that thought in my head, what’s the point of me even being here? That scared the poop out of me, scared myself with that thought. And I thought, Ooh, I’ve got the D man perched on my shoulder. That’s what I call the devil at the D man sitting there on my shoulder whispering and he and I was listening to him that was my moment where it was like why am I listening to him you know what was that moment for you or that little thing whatever it was that little thing that that made you say you know no I am going to stick it out I am going to make it through I am going to I’m going to whether I have to crawl through this I’m going to keep on going what was that moment for you so I wouldn’t say it’s a moment I would say it’s lots of little moments. I mean, the most important decision I’ve made in my life is to follow Jesus, to have a relationship with God and to know that this life is not all there is, right? That we’re on a destination and we’re all passing through difficult things in this life. So I’m a trained counselor and it was so hard for me, just like you said, to be in that place of like, I remember sitting with my husband at some point and saying, I, you know, I, I don’t have a plan to commit suicide, but I, I feel like I have thoughts about not wanting to live. And it’s, it was just, it was so humbling to be in that point where instead of being in the other’s chair, you know, I was now on this side of it and, and it was really scary. Yeah. It was really, and especially having children, you know, at that time I had six year old, a three year old and a one year old, And it was like, these kids are dependent upon me. In the first place, the doctors told me I wasn’t going to have any kids in each. So we have four kids and each child is a miracle, like a complete miracle. And I mean, I could go on about that, but I was like, God, you gave us these miracles. Is that a whole nother book? Yeah, that could be a whole nother book, but I’m just like, you know, I knew that God gave us these miracles, these children. and um so that’s that’s a one huge motivation for waking up every morning like I have these children who I need to be here for like I don’t want they need me right and but it’s you know for me it was it’s just like the decision each morning to wake up and say okay deep breath this is going to be as hard, like every, every, every day, even now, waking up is difficult. Mornings are really hard for me. But I, you know, we all have these decisions to make every day about, okay, what am I going to choose? Am I going to choose to, to dwell upon all the horrible things, which we can all have, we have plenty of those, right? Or am I going to set my mind on the truth and what is good and, um, and, and choose to, to have joy. I think so much of our emotions come from what we choose. And I know I’m not saying that like, Oh, just pretend everything is happy because that’s not how I do it. I can’t do that. That’s like, that’s, that doesn’t work. Just have a positive mindset. Well, there’s some of it, you know, that we have to, we have to choose to be a positive, but it’s, it’s more than that. And, um, it’s, it takes a lot of intentionality and, um, and it’s not, you can’t just sit down and take a ride through life. Cause unless you have a very unique circumstance in life, I think it’s, it just, that doesn’t happen and that’s not gonna take you anywhere. So no, I just, again, I think it’s just, yeah, it’s just a lot of daily decisions and choices that are often hard yes well and then I often say for my own my own journey buck buckle up buttercup it’s gonna be a bad ride buckle up because there you know there are times in life where you know it is bumpy and yours has been very bumpy for a very long time I have found for myself through through those bumpy times and you said I like how you had mentioned there’s you have choices every morning when you wake up you have choices to make and you choose how you’re going to face that day and you choose joy and there’s so many times in people’s lives and I know there’s people out there listening right now they might even be having one of those days and they’re like I don’t feel joy I don’t see joy I can’t find it we’ve all been there if you’re living life you’re gonna you’re gonna have those days or those moments for me I found that after I crawled myself out of that dark pit that i found myself in years ago um choosing joy i chose to intentionally look for those small little things you know beautiful flower you know as the sun’s rising and there’s dew on the petals to me that’s it’s just an amazing picture and i’m like okay thank you god thank you for that thank you for directing my eyes there instead of inward where i could be uh woe is me you know i hurt i can’t sleep i can’t eat i hate life i hate people you know instead of falling into that little trap that the d-man likes to pull you down into so i found for me that’s what works and then i always say thank you and that helps me with that connection, you know, that helps me saying, well, thank you, God, for pointing my eyes in that direction. Thank you, God, for reminding me of that. Even just looking at my dog some days, I’m like, thank you, God, for having this crazy dog in my life because he keeps me grounded, you know? So what’s those choices that you make when you wake up and you said, you know, even now today, it’s tough to wake up in the morning to get going. Your mornings are tough. Is there one thing, or is it just many little things that you focus on? It’s like, all right, well, nope, swing those legs over the side of the bed. Let’s get going. Let’s rock this day. Yeah. I mean, I agree with you on the whole gratitude or Thanksgiving. Last year, I really, I was like, that was like my word for the year was gratitude. And I learned so much about, and so much about like neuroscience and what the brain, um, so many studies have been done about the evidence of what gratitude does for our bodies. And like one of the studies showed that like gratitude, like if you’re, if you’re practicing gratitude, you cannot also at the same time have anxiety in your mind. Like it’s impossible for those two to coexist. And I just thought, wow, how amazing, how amazing that God made our brains to, to be able to, to do that. And so I think that’s a huge thing is, is just, it’s, it’s a, it’s a daily practice that I think our human instincts don’t really tend towards unless again, we are intentional about it. So that’s something I really try to do is, is speak out loud things I’m thankful for and grateful for. And, and that’s something that we do with our children a lot too, as a way to kind of do it together and practice together. I like how you said you speak it out loud. I have to do the same thing. And I tell people that I’m like, I speak it out loud because that gives it power and that makes it real for me. So it’s nice to, it’s nice to hear that other people do that as well. And, you know, being a counselor that, that you practice that, you know, and I think a lot of folks probably think and I know I have I’ve thought that too but years and years ago you know counselors they must have it all together they must have it all together counselors because you know they’re helping all those people that are hurting or down in the darkness gosh those counselors must have it all together and I have not met a single counselor and I talk to a lot of them just through what I do helping veterans that’s what I do in my spare time I’m an advocate for um helping those with ptsd especially female veterans with ptsd um but i’ve talked to a lot of counselors just in doing what i do and uh every single one of them have had a bumpy road and i think that that’s what makes them good counselors because yeah yeah you’re you’re not just you’re not spouting words and just making noise you’ve been in those dark moments and then those trenches, however you want to word it. And despite that, despite all of that, you’re taking it and turning around and wanting to help people with, you know, using part of your experience. And I think as authors as well, like you said, you had such a strong nudge that was persistent and you wanted to get that book written, even though you didn’t consider yourself an author. I mean, obviously there was a reason for all of that. And you’ve got that book out there in the world and published. I don’t think that you can be a good author writing the type of things that you wrote, the type of book that you wrote without having had that experience. So if, do you ever look back along and I do, you look back on your path that brought you here and you’re like, oh, I see that now. Okay. I get it. I get why I went through that. So I could be here in this moment doing this. Does that ever happen to you? Yes. I think there’s so much truth and wisdom of what you just said, because everything that we go through is going to shape us in some way. You know, I mean, you see people go through hard things and then they become more hardened or bitter or resentful. Right. So it doesn’t always happen. Like some things we go through, there’s so much of it again is like, how are we going to respond to this? Um, but there is so much purpose, you know, and I think that’s another huge thing in our lives. Like, it’s just so cool to hear how, how you have used what you’ve gone through. And now it’s like giving you purpose to, to love and help others. And that’s really my passion too, is because I have been through something and I continue to walk it, I have such a heart of compassion for people who are suffering and struggling, who need hope, who need a word of encouragement. That purpose, I think, is just so important in our lives, to feel like we have a meaningful reason to continue living and also to look outside of ourselves. So I think when we’re walking through something difficult, it’s so easy to start getting self-focused and, or pity party or whatever, you know, like, Oh, woe is me. And, and that, that thing can become so important in your life that it kind of drives everything else, which is, is horrible when that happens. And so when we’re able to focus outside and stop looking at ourselves for a while it’s, it’s really a blessing. It’s really a blessing. And, um, so. And do you have, now I, I always say, well, I was stuck in my bubble. I was stuck in my bubble and I couldn’t see past it. And then God always seems to find a way to pierce the bubble with a person or a song or a book or something. Have you found that that happens with you as well? I, I think it’s a continual thing that, that God continues to reveal um so one of one of the so in our dining room we have a plaque that um has you know the greatest commandment that love the lord your god with all your heart soul mind and strength and love others as yourself and that’s something that we talk about quite a bit as a family and how do we live our lives so that we are living out this verse you know so that we are loving god well and loving our neighbors as ourself like reaching outside to our of ourselves And so I, you know, I think it’s just something that is, yeah, it’s just a continual process of, you know, not holding on to our lives too tightly and realizing that it’s, it’s not all about me. It’s not about how I want life to go. If I haven’t figured that out yet, then there’s something wrong with me. But, you know, my little three year old, like, he thinks the world revolves around him still. And he is very vocal to tell us so. Um, but sooner or later, you know, they find out like my, my 13 year old the other day, he’s like, well, I know life’s just going to get harder. So I might as well just have fun right now. And I was like, well, that’s kind of true. Usually it does get a little bit harder. So just the perspective of like, as you get older, you recognize, okay, yeah, life is hard, but you know, we, we learn and we grow through it and it can really be, life is wonderful too, right? Like there’s so many blessings in life. And hopefully we learn. Hopefully we learn. Yeah. As we go. I found that because there was, there were so many years where I had such a nice wall built, such a good, solid, strong wall. Thing with walls is nothing can get out because I didn’t want anything getting out. None of that’s coming out. Thing with walls is nothing can get out, but nothing can get in either. And when I realized that when my wall started crumbling and I’m like, oh my gosh this hurts I can’t do this because I was letting stuff in I was letting feelings in again uh horrible you know when all that stuff comes flashing in and you’re carrying all of your own baggage and I started to be able to see things a little clearer and I was seeing outside my bubble and God was putting all kinds of people in front of me I started recognizing what was going on I mean to me that was such an epiphany really um and then to recognize all those small little things and also to recognize that I could not trust and worry or live in anxiety I couldn’t do all those things and trust at the same time you know and that was another light bulb moment you cannot trust and worry at the same time just like you said earlier um and I’m completely drawn a blank the two things you put together you said you can’t do them at the same time and as soon as you said that i wrote down the oh purpose with your purpose and stuff and i wrote down you can’t trust and worry at the same time either that was a big one for me that was a big one for me so okay so you’ve got your book out there which i’m looking forward to getting myself a copy of by the way available on amazon folks just so you know uh but all that stuff will be in the show notes do you have something else you know sitting on the back burner that you’re thinking about working or do you have another book in the works or is that something you’re just you’re just going day by day and seeing how it rolls yeah so kind of all the above I have I continue to write for me you know that writing is more of in like I feel inspired I can’t just sit down and write it’s more like something comes to me so I’m continuing to write there’s two different possible books that what I’m writing could turn into. And then I also, yeah, we’re kind of in a place right now where my husband could retire or we could continue on. And so we don’t know if we’re going to be moving. And anyways, just a lot of different life circumstances could be changing. And so the, I have kids three to three, six, nine, 13. So they keep me pretty busy um but yeah i don’t know what’s next we’ll we’ll see what you know and every day every day is new you never know yep you never know and i thought earlier when you’re talking about writing how it’s it’s cathartic or it was cathartic for you and it continues to be it sounds like um with your blog and anytime it sounds like you write like i do if something pops in your head you got to sit down and write it but you don’t just sit down and schedule time you know yes um that’s how i am something and it’s always when i’m outside walking my dog because that’s where i breathe yeah i breathe i breathe and pray outside so i’m outside a lot uh but that’s where the ideas come from and i’ll grab my phone and start talking into my phone and as soon as i get back to the house i get to my computer or i grab the tablet that’s nearest and start i’m like oh i gotta get this down i’m gonna get this down yeah that’s exactly what happens with me that is crazy wow isn’t that fun though to learn that you know you’re not the only wonky one out there doing that well this has been absolutely awesome talking to you and there’s so many other things i could ask you um i would i would love to have you back on uh next year sometime i want to see where your journey’s at and see you know if you do have another book i know you’ve got some brewing every every author once you’ve written one book there’s always something else brewing in the back. Yep. Yep. So I want to see where that, where that takes you, but this has been an absolute pleasure. So share with the people, all those folks that are listening, where they can find your book at. Yeah. So it’s the main place to get is an Amazon, um, Kindle and paperback there. Um, and then you can also visit my website, which is karismeier.com and I’m on Instagram and Facebook also. So you can, you can find me there. Awesome. And all of those links folks will be in the show notes and in the description, um, because this is on platforms where anybody can hear podcasts, but it’s also on YouTube. So you can look in the description for all the links for that. Um, I thank everybody for listening. Now, Karis, I asked all of my guests before we wrap up to toss out a nugget of hope to the listeners, something that they can tuck away in their pocket and carry with them throughout their day. So what would your nugget of hope for the listeners be today? Well, I just wanted to say that I love, love, love, love the name of your podcast. As soon as I saw it and I listened to some of your episodes, I was hooked. I was like, let fear bounce. That is the most beautiful thing. And I was really captive. I was held captive by fear many years in my life. And a verse that I’ve really stood on is, you know, God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of love, power, and of self-discipline. And I have just seen so much more freedom and joy come by turning, well, sometimes we have to face the fear, right? Sometimes we have to live it and go through it and realize it’s not what we thought it was. But the freedom that comes when we’re able to let go of fear and live in faith and love instead is just, it’s, it’s so worth it. Right. It’s sometimes it takes, it takes a lot of bravery and courage. Um, but I would just say to not let fear run your life, you know, not let the things that you are afraid of the people you’re afraid of, whatever, because it’s usually not what you think it is. And, um, yeah, so that’s, that’s what I would say. Don’t give fear power. Yep. Awesome. Awesome nugget. Thank you. Thanks for tossing that out there today. I appreciate your time and sharing, sharing just a small part of your story. Cause I know we just touched on it, but I appreciate you sharing that because that is, that does take courage to do that, to get, you know, to put that out in the world with your book that took a lot of courage and then to, to speak about it. Cause you’re coming from a place of vulnerability and a lot of people can’t do that and you’re letting fear bounce by doing it and i think that’s awesome you’re a warrior you are a warrior and it’s awesome i love meeting other warriors so keep on going lady keep on keeping on you’re probably one of the strongest women i’ve i’ve briefly met and i feel truly blessed for having had the pleasure of talking to you today so thank you for being my guest on let fear bounce thank you thanks for having me. Everybody out there listening. I hope you enjoyed this episode as much as I enjoyed speaking with my beautiful guest today, Karis. So everybody out there be well, stay well, and be blessed. That wraps up another episode of Let Fear Bounce folks. Thanks so much for spending a small part of your day with myself and my special guests. I am blessed week by week by the people that I have on my show. I’m also blessed by you for tuning in and listening. And if you want to learn a little bit more about me you can go to my website at kimlanglingauthor.com and check out everything else I’m doing. I like to keep myself busy and until next week folks everybody be well stay well and be blessed and don’t forget you are amazing. Have you asked yourself who’s going to take care of your pet should something happen to you? Well I’ve got an answer for you. The Do It Yourself Pet Estate Will Kit that gives you peace of mind that your family pet will be cared for when you are no longer physically able to care for them with easy step-by-step instructions that guide you through the task of completing forms necessary to add your furry loved one to your existing will. Visit kimlanglingauthor.com to find out more.