Where Faith Meets Trust

The cars whizzed by on the freeway, but everything seemed to be going in slow motion. I gripped the steering wheel firmly, hoping my faith was holding on just as strong. Ben sat in the passenger seat, a comforting presence. Even though he couldn’t come in with me to the appointment due to COVID restrictions, he rode by my side to the hospital. After six ultrasounds with no movement of the placenta, this last one weighed heavily upon us. Over the weeks of praying and being prayed over, God had stood by faithfully through the ups and downs of doubt and faith. 

I believed God could move the placenta. He had done it before, he could do it again. And, I felt a strengthening in my weak moments, like the Spirit of God was urging me to keep believing. Reminding me that just as Jesus told us to have faith and not doubt for the movement of mountains, anything could be possible for us who pray in belief. God is pleased by faith and values it highly in his children. 

At the same time, more than anything, I wanted to be steadfast in my trust no matter what the result of the ultrasound revealed. If it was still covering the cervix, would I trust God just as much? For a time I struggled with the seeming contradiction of these two desires. To have unwavering faith for God to move the placenta. And to be completely trusting God with the news of needing a Caesarian section. Trusting in his sovereignty and goodness no matter what. But the more I prayed about it, the merging of these two desires met with beautiful unison. I could imagine the miracle, concurrently experiencing the peace of complete trust in whatever the outcome.

Faith and trust. We use these terms interchangeably and commonly as followers of Jesus. They are very similar and both vital to our relationship with God. “Faith is the assurance of the things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1, ESV). Faith is believing something before we can see it. Believing the miracle is going to happen. Trust is falling back completely on Jesus when all else fails in life. When the miracle doesn’t happen. When life doesn’t match up with our understanding (Proverbs 3:5). Faith looks forward with expectation for God to work, trust rests in His sovereign control over every detail of life surrendered to him. 

I walked into that ultrasound filled with faith, but also resting in trust. When I was told that the placenta was completely cleared, relief and thanksgiving flooded over my entire being. It had been a long 15 weeks of waiting, with many disappointments in between. I had many moments of doubt and fear, but it was through the struggle that I grew. It’s always easier to see this after the trial is over.

I can tell you that I was just as happy that I felt at peace with either outcome as I was to hear the placenta had moved! And at that moment, I also felt the pleasure of my Father. Even in my weakness and uncertainty, he was pleased with me because I kept clinging to him. I kept crying out to him. I kept believing even after weeks of what felt like unanswered prayer.

We all have countless opportunities in this life of ours to exercise faith and trust. To grow. To experience the joy of the fruit these qualities bring to our lives. Psalm 112:6-7 tells us the righteous person is not afraid of bad news but is steadfast ever trusting the Lord. Let us not be those who shrink back in fear, but those who persevere living by faith (Hebrews 10:39). We have need of endurance in both trust and faith as we journey through this great race of life. So whether you are facing bad news or a mountain that needs to be moved, don’t give in and don’t give up. We have a God who is worthy of our faith and trust.