Short reflections on walking with Jesus through chronic illness, grief, and the daily work of suffering well. New posts occasionally; older posts always available.
Reflections on faith, suffering, and hope for the journey.
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In Sickness and in Health
I looked over the beautiful arrangement of roses, but instead of feeling joy, anger and disappointment rose in my heart. Seventeen years of marriage, but we were in no condition to celebrate. We took the vows “in sickness and health” on our marriage day. We’ve covered the “in sickness” but have yet to look forward…
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Finding God in the Unknowns
Suffering touches all of us at some point in life. Some more than others and to varying degrees, but it will come. But in my experience the anticipation and “what-ifs” of suffering can be more tormenting then the suffering itself. Imagination is a beautiful thing, but it also can be torturous when we allow the…
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In Over My Head
I thought I would be healed by now. Instead, I’m pregnant. I thought I had an idea of how God would work. But I never imagined this. I thought I couldn’t handle another thing. But now I am in way over my head. A feeling I literally experienced many years ago in the ocean water beaches…
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Channels of Comfort
The young woman sat slumped in her chair a few rows over from me. From where I sat I could almost feel the heaviness and pain that was written all over her face and held in the posture of her body. I knew because I have been there. In brokenness, and desperate need of comfort.…
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God\’s Greater Plans
The fog hung heavy in the air, making the next steps difficult to navigate. There was a dampness and chill to this January morn. And yet, there were several birds cheerfully singing to each other from the trees. It was almost as if they knew something I didn’t. The stately pines stood tall amidst the…
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Jesus is Worthy
I sat trembling inside and out as Christmas carols filled the sanctuary. Anxiety rose and doubts abounded as the time drew near for me to make my way to the microphone. A week ago when I received the invitation to share a testimony in the Christmas service, tears pooled in my eyes. I immediately cried…
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Waiting with expectation
The people of Israel waited for hundreds of years before receiving the promised Messiah. It not only seemed like a lifetime to wait, it was a lifetime, many generations of lifetimes. Yet God came through. Many of us are waiting for promises of God to be fulfilled in our lives. Christmas reminds us of God’s…
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Love Casts Out Fear
Fear has always been a fiend lurking in the shadows of my life. I woke up in a fright, my left arm completely numb and lifeless. My heart pounded as I frantically flopped my arm back and forth, attempting to bring back feeling. Nothing. Fearful thoughts raced through my mind, leaving the conclusion that one…
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God Can, He Will, but Even if He Doesn’t
My children played around my bed as I pleaded with God for some relief. But none came. Their squeals of delight contrasted my discouraged spirit. I started a new treatment for Crohn’s disease in which I solely ingest predigested drinks. Instead of bringing relief, each day I found myself even sicker than the day before.…
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From Death to Life
Excited cries of delight filled the air as children scampered here and there, chasing the birthday boy who was turning four. The adults mingled, making introductions and catching up. My pastor’s wife asked me how my week had been. I avoided answering directly by sharing about a change in my husband‘s job. She looked at…
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The Father\’s Embrace
I watched Hannah crawl into Ben’s lap, his arms enveloping her completely, pulling her in. She nestled up in his chest and rested her head on his shoulder. Her angst of a few minutes ago was gone. She was confident of her father’s love and knew how to find solace in his embrace. This little…
Suffering Redeemed 