Short reflections on walking with Jesus through chronic illness, grief, and the daily work of suffering well. New posts occasionally; older posts always available.
Reflections on faith, suffering, and hope for the journey.
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In Sickness and in Health
I looked over the beautiful arrangement of roses, but instead of feeling joy, anger and disappointment rose in my heart. Seventeen years of marriage, but we were in no condition to celebrate. We took the vows “in sickness and health” on our marriage day. We’ve covered the “in sickness” but have yet to look forward…
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How\’s Your Happy?
During dinner, our family takes turns asking and answering various questions, some serious, some fun. One of the questions we regularly discuss is one emotion we felt during the day. 90% of the time the kids choose happy as their emotion. I printed out emotion charts with little emoji’s to help the kids identify other…
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A Fire Within
“O LORD, you have deceived me, and I was deceived: you are stronger than I, and you have prevailed. I have become a laughingstock all the day; everyone mocks me” (Jeremiah 20:7). Sounds a bit irreverent, right? Well, maybe, but if you had been promised victory and deliverance, and had just been beaten and put…
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Do You See What I See?
“Mom, I said it’s time to put the animals to bed now.” Hannah‘s voice alerts me in my half-awake state. With one hand on the baby bouncer and the other holding a plastic animal, I try my best to stay engaged with my three-year-old. We put the animals to bed in the barn and Hannah…
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The Waiting Place
Anyone who has waited for a baby to come knows how very excruciating it can be. As the time draws near, consternation grows. Is today the day? With every twinge or set of contractions, there is anticipation for what is to follow. But, for most births, there are many periods of false anticipation that end…
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Where Faith Meets Trust
The cars whizzed by on the freeway, but everything seemed to be going in slow motion. I gripped the steering wheel firmly, hoping my faith was holding on just as strong. Ben sat in the passenger seat, a comforting presence. Even though he couldn’t come in with me to the appointment due to COVID restrictions,…
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The Sanctification of Imagination
When I close my eyes, I imagine a knife slicing through my abdomen. Doctors and nurses surrounded me and fear permeated my entire being. The unknowns of this scene flood my mind with questions. Would something go wrong? Would the anesthesia fail to work like one of my friends had experienced? Would I suddenly freak…
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The Power of Identity
Turning 40 is no fun. I’ve tried to psych myself up and get excited, but the big 4-0 still feels a little daunting. It’s something you just kind of want to skip over and pretend didn’t happen. But it’s here for me. I remember when my dad turned 40. I thought he was ancient. We…
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God is Near
The last few days had left me feeling bereft of God’s abiding presence with me. This was not a novel feeling, as I had often experienced it during similar times of silence or disconcerting circumstances. Every morning as I read the Bible, I ask the Holy Spirit to speak personally to me, but lately I…
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In the Nick of Time
I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “God’s never late.” The reason we need this saying is because often times we feel he indeed is late. Or nearly so. We’ve all seen God come through in the nick of time. But we’ve also been disappointed when it appears that he hasn’t. I sat uncomfortably on the…
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Planting Seeds of Hope
I sat in my favorite chair enjoying the beauty of the tulips in my neighbor’s yard. The sun was streaming through the window bringing warmth and comfort not only to my body but also my soul as I took in the view. I have always found them to be such a hopeful flower. And in…
Suffering Redeemed 